So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
