I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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