we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
3 2 1 whiskey
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
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