I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
barbara walters just said penis...
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
