Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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