He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
