i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
