Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
