Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
