when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
We smell like vodka and hangover
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