The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
