the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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