I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
