There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
