how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
