He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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