Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
