I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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