Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
