Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
