we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
