Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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