ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just high enough for therapy.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
