apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize