Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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