last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
