Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
