Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
