Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize