if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
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