What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
