new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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