Tell her she can't have a vagina
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize