She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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