she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Congratulations! We have a period
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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