Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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