We're like a lot better than the average bears
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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