she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.