I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO