Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...