Got a toothbrush?
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll