just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice