Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
How does it feel to date your dad?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.