Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.