well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Acid is not a monday night drug
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.