glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
