I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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