i already hear my dad disowning me
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Randomize
