haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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