I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
