I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
