i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We're too hungover to prance.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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