I cannot find my penis.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We're not piercing ourselves today.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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