You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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