I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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