i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Randomize
