Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
