why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
