me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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