i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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