Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
