question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
