yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
