His pubic hair was longer than his dick
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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