Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
