Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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