im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
