Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
