If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
