She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
