pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
