I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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