I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
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This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize