Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
